Monday, January 31, 2005

Update : Let the idiots come out of the woodwork.

So seriously here are some excerpts from Match.com emails:

Hi,How was Christmas?
I hope you enjoyed New Year's eve.
What do you do for a living?
What do you like to do on your days off?
Tell me more about yourself, send me a note... mailto:&^#$2@AOL
Talk to you soon.
JE

( My thoughts-- it says in my profile that I am a professional mind reader. So strike one for not paying attention. Dude-- it's january 31st wtf are you asking about x-mas for? Strike two for not having anything better to ask. Tell you more about me? You didn't even bother to read the first stuff. Moving on...)

Hi How r u doing... i liked ur profile, u seem like a cool person.. If u r interested we can chat some time.. I m originally from turkey.. but living in SD for a long time.. by profession I m digital designer, love to travel, and like trying new things.. Take care, Austin

( My thoughts -- u r interested looks a lot like urine if you are skimming. At least he knew I liked to travel and try new stuff. Too bad he doesn't know the proper use for an apostrophe. Next)

Some actual gems, absoluelty no sarcasm intended.

This gentleman , aside from being a fitness freak, seems pretty promising. I submit the following proof excerpted from a recent email.

"Anyhow, I thought about albums I like, caught a bit of High Fidelityon TV (John Cusack still makes my Top 5 hot guys list), and this iswhat I came up with:Flood (They Might be Giants)First off, this is a great band. Their sound perfectly matches theirfunny story lyrics. In fact, they might be the only band that Iactually listen to/remember/care about the lyrics. They just make melaugh! If I had to pick only one, this would be it.Blood Sugar Sex Magik (Red Hot Chili Peppers)This is the first album I remember hearing growing up and thinking"this will still be a great album in 20 years. I may have beenslightly bias (because at the time I played the guitar and I couldactually play a lot of the songs) but I still really like the sound otthat album.Rocky Soundtrack AlbumOther that "Coming to America", every song on that album was used in aRocky training montage. Even on a desert island, I still need to stayin shape. In my opinion, there is no better montage music to run tothan Rocky music. Seriously, if his training can bring downcommunism, it can get me in decent shape.Montage side note: if I were to have my own "work montage", I thinkit would involve Paul Oakenfold. If only every time I had to reallybear down and work hard for a few hours/days/weeks, it could be turnedinto a 2 minutes montage....The Cure and the Beatles: I decided to pick two bands for the lasttwo, since I couldn't decide which album was the best. I just likethe way I feel when I listen to them."

I responded by approving his taste in music and then asked him to elaborate about his top 5 guys. I mean that was really the question of the day.

Off to bed sleepyhead.
M.

2 Comments:

Blogger neilderbeast said...

so how wuz ur arbor day mine was bitchen ur soo hot wut r u waring rihgt now

2:52 AM  
Blogger neilderbeast said...

Why can't even the smart ones handle grammar and punctuation? I'm waiting for a good excuse, like "an apostrophe killed my dad" or "a properly placed semicolon is the devil's plaything."

2:52 AM  

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