Thursday, January 20, 2005

Wherein I am taking responsibility

Sometime around 1997-1998 my ex boyfriend Neil Cardinal met the then POTUS and VeePOTUS in Lake Tahoe at an environmental conference. There is pictorial proof of this fact.

This event has taken mythological porportions in my family. My almost exclusively democratic family. I did not truly appreciate this fact until my 82 year old grandfather blamed me for something. Something I never did, the true ludicrousness of which I almost can't write about.

But here goes:

Neil met Al Gore and shook his hand. And Al Gore said something while gladhanding about the fact that he needed young talented men like Neil to work on his campaign in 2000. Hereafter all logic and truth leaves the building like Elvis looking for a fix.

In my grandfathers mind, AL Gore seriously offered Neil a job,( you know that is what you do while working a rope line) and I, while dating Neil pretty damn seriously, told Neil that I didn't date "college dropouts". So Neil, putting my own needs before his stupendous opportunity to work on a National Presidentail Campaign didn't follow up on the Gore gladhanding. For reference, Neil would never have put my needs or wants before his own, he only did that once we were broken up.

Anyway, so since Al Gore did not have the wonderfully amazing talents of Neil, he didn't have a great internet presence. ( even though he invented the internet) and so Al Gore lost.

You heard it here first folks, the democratic party lost in 2000 because I don't date college dropouts.

I tried to joke this off, at my birthday dinner a day late, and a day after not ONE single member of my family called me. But I find that I must leave it up to you interweb to judge. Am I truly to blame for the war in Iraq? Would Bush II be just a footnote in history had I lowered my standards and dated a dropout?

I mean really?

OMG-- I need to go to bed and sleep it off. I mean how many days does it take to really and truly come to terms that you are solely responsible for the downfall of western civilization?

I'll let you know. But first I need to put on my hair shirt and flaggelate myself.
No you can't watch you sick fucks.
M.

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