Tuesday, February 08, 2005

The weirdness of integrating someone new

So I really like that guy-- the navy guy-- the REBUBLICAN.
But he's taking too much of my brain space up, and he wants to take care of me which I clearly can't allow because then when we break up I will miss him functionally as well as emotionally.

I once asked someone if midwestern values were what god rewarded them with for being in an essentially flat place? At the time I thought I was witty and cynical and the epitome of "cool." Really I was being a jerk because my impression of the midwest based on The Sailor is that they are just genuinely nice people who think that helping someone is something you should do-- not something you try to avoid.

So we will stumble through this integration phase to see where and if we fit while trying to take care of eachother. Cause if I don't take care of him he won't want me anymore.

There is nothing like a new person bumping into your established life to make you clearly see the insidious ideas you have preying on your mind.

Off to bed sleepyhead.
M.


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