Monday, March 28, 2005

Of all my friends and lovers...

It's been awhile since the earth shattering breakup of 2004. Well the earth didn't shatter as I expected it too, but my heart did in some final way that I am only now completely understanding.
But after discussing our current relationships on the phone and communicating in the same way we perfected over the course 9 years; and realizing that we are finally growing irrevocably apart, I wanted to take the time to write all the nice things down I could think of about you and all the things I miss so much it still makes me want to cry even though I would do the Bataan Death March before I would get back together with you.

Becasue there were so many of them, please, do not consider this list definitive.
1. You are one of the smartest people I know.
2. You are so funny that it hurts. I mean literally, sometimes you make me laugh so hard that the muscles in my cheeks scream out in pain-- like that time at Curque Du Soliel, remember?
3. We were exactly the right kind of silly together when no one else was around. I could use some level 3 and no one else will ever do it right.
4. You were so affectionate that you might have spoiled me forever to "normal men". Note: I am not sure there is such a thing as a normal man.
5. You were damn good in bed and I'll bet if we ever did it again you could reclaim your crown as the best sex of my life.
6. You were never open but you talked so much it was ok. You are open now and I am glad to know that you learned how being closed up freaks women out. I wish you could have learned that with me instead of from me, but at least you made progress.
7. You knew me, you got me, you enjoyed me, and you loved me. I knew you loved me, which is what made your constant betrayals so hurtful. Through it all I have never doubted that you would come if I called in the middle of the night and told you I was in a Balinese Jail and could you cause an international incident to get me out? I'm smiling thinking of the international incident you would cause.
8. You are one of the most generous people that I know.
9. You are handsome, if a geek, and now that you dress better I think things are looking up.
10. I will probably regret our "missed opportunity" forever.

I know the last year has been hard for both of us, good, but hard. I just wanted you to know, I still appreciate you and I would still move the moon for you. ( See how much the little sheep loves the big sheep?)
M.

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