Saturday, March 19, 2005

When you sleep, what do you dream about?

You sleep in the bed like a small mountain range. You shoulder rises and blocks my view of the room, your leg curled over a pillow or over me. I love to curl up behind you and trace the contours of your skin with my eyes. Your shoulders are broad and your waist dips in before the curve of your hip rises again. When I wake up and your back is to me I usually look at you for about 10 minutes before moving. Those 10 minutes are some of the longest of my life becasue my hands cry out to feel the muscles in your back and the suppleness of your skin. I have never wanted to consistently touch every inch of a person the way I want to touch you. I can never make it without touching you, I could never get up and leave without seeing if you will touch me back. But doing that is like rousing a dragon or a dinosaur or some other mythological beast that seems to not notice you until you make them and then you are trapped.

Your arms are long and heavy and they pin me to the bed, all tenderness and strength. Sometimes you cup one of my breasts and randomly squeeze it while you are dreaming. You think you don't, but you do. I love knowing you could pin me to the bed and take whatever you wanted. I would be helpless before you with an open heart if you would let me.

When you are really asleep you tuck your face in the back of my neck and breathe your hot breath on my skin. Until you start to snore I treasure this. It is like feeling your heartbeat, feeling the proof of your life next to mine while my eyes get heavy and my body relaxes into the rhythm of your breathing. You are the only person I know who can go to sleep faster than I can.

I find you beautiful, I find you funny, I love to just hang with you without feeling the pressure of being entertaining or "on." I would trust you to take care of me, and lean into your caring, careful nature.

The fact you have been hurt makes me want to hurt that other woman. I won't be responsible formy actions if I ever met her. Fucking Cunt.

My hard candy shell is only to disguise that I would soothe you and listen to you and rage with you if you would let me.

Don't tell me that you don't dream. You whisper and move and sometimes cry out in your sleep. That is the time when I know you are a person I could love, if you would let me.


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