Thursday, May 26, 2005

Fragile -- This side up.

So coming back from Missouri has made me a little bit fragile. I think it is because Mom cried when I left -- just a little bit-- and I could see that she loved me even though she is crazy and how can you turn your back on a person that loves you even for a second? How do you let that go in order not to get hurt again and again, which is what you think will happen?

You don't. So I guess I have a relationship with my mother again. Even though she won't come and see me and the priorities in her life make me feel mainly like Ross and I are unimportant, I know she loves me, a little, and so here we go again. AGAIN.

I guess I can try to think of her a long distance friend and accept the fact that if I want my mom in my life I will have to do the work in order to get her to trust that I won't hurt her again. So she will put me first a little bit and show me that she loves me too.

Families, can't live with them, can't make 'em drink the cool aid.

I'm off to email my mom.

M.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

How to Annoy Me

Pick me up at the airport and make me ask you for a hug and don't even act like you are happy to see me.

Yeah. We have a future.

Grumble.
M.

We aren't in Kansas anymore Dorothy! Wait-- yes we are.

OK back from Missouri. Lots to tell, more pictures on my Flickr Page.

I had a really nice visit with Mom, no one died, no one yelled at me, I was pleasant and I think I might see her again before another 8 years is up. If only in small doses, becasue as fun as it was, she's, you know, CRAZY.

Things that disturbed me while in Missouri:

1. The proximity to other states. I mean where I live you can't drive to another state just like that. Plus they put the names of cities in other states on their exit signs. In 10 minutes I could have turned toward St. Jo, Des Moines, and Wichita. In fact while driving on the "loop" around Kansas City ( Missouri) I actually had to drive into Kansas. I have no idea why this freaked me out so much but it did. Majorly.

2. They allow people to ride unrestrained in the back of trucks out there. It says a lot for their civil liberties but given that most people do 80 on the freeway having their spawn bouncing around in the back of a pickup strikes me as irresponsibly free. I am glad I live in California where you can't smoke in any public building and childrem MUST ride with seatbelts INSIDE the vehicle.

3. The East Indian family that owned the Econo Lodge that we stayed in was a bunch of freakin idiots. And econo lodge? EWWW never again.

4. The actual graduation ceremony only took 50 minutes. There wasn't anything touchy feely or emotional about it. In fact the administration seemed to be so glad to get rid of this class of student I'm surprised they didn't make them ride around unrestrained in the back of a pickup for most of the year. That would have killed some of them off.

5. My mother has 12 dogs and 24 acres. That is 2 acres a dog but still not enough space. See pictures of the Grizzly Bear, I mean, Malamute, she owns on my flickr page.

6. I made my palne flight home by 3 minutes, no joke. Thank god for that. Never get stranded in Missouri, and never allow for a flight plan that leaves you in Salt Lake City airport for between 2-4 hours. That is not enough time to get out and see Temple Square but it is also not enough time to get drunk on over priced cocktails in the lounge. See, in Utah, they only serve alcohol by the thimbleful to us heathens who drink it. A martini comes in a shot glass.

M.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

The Devil Went Down to Georgia... Lookin' for a soul to steal

So I've been remiss. Really. I never write, I never call.

What the hell has been going on in my life?Better yet, why are the italics on? I am not this dramatic. Aagh, fucking blogger, I can't turn them off.

This is exactly why I should get off my ass and learn to make web pages. Neil-- are you listening? And if you are, Maria and I really need an update to the work website soon.

Ok, when it says italics are on that really means they are off, like when you live an a crappy apartment and the hot and cold water are reversed in your shower. (I always secretly liked that because it made my guests yell about the water when they were getting in the shower. In my head I always snickered like Muttley when that happened.)

Anyway, my existence lately.

Work-- 2 more months before I need a comission check so badly I have to go back to selling my eggs. Things are going well if slowly.

Sailor Boy-- lots of sex, lots of hanging out, still undefined, nothing better going on-- so why not?

I;m attempting to stop biting my fingernails. It's not going well but I'm not typing with bleeding stumps.

Went for my first ride on a motorcycle with Mark. Spent the first 15 minutes terrified. Spent the next hour, attempting to make the muscles in my body relax, spent the last hour wishing I hadn't been so scared for the first part. At the end I thought:
"that was cool, but it would have been better if I had been driving." Watch for me to be a menace on a bike within the next year.

Going to Lisa's graduation this weekend in Missouri. Not so stoked about that but family is family, can't live with them, can't make them drink the kool-aid.

Spending Memorial weekend with Sailor Boy and his family in Arizona. That will either be a train wreck or super fun. I'm hoping for a super fun train wreck. So fun you don't want to look away even though you can't look away.

Ok that is all to report. Totally digging the cover of I'll Stop the World by Nouvelle Vague this morning. Woke up with Portions for Foxes in my head but "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" was the first song I heard this morning. See what happens when you date someone who listens to county music?

Cue Donny and Marie:
He's a little bit country,
She's a little bit Rock n' Roll...

M.







Friday, May 13, 2005

Stupid Things

So last night I was very interested in looking in a shop window at a dress, so interested in fact, that I banged my entire face into the glass leaving a face print and making my nose bleed just a little bit. I was then guilty of looking around to see if anyone had seen me do it and walking away quickly.

Nothing like that to make me feel like a complete dork.

M.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

How to Charm and Annoy Me

First, escape from the back yard twice. Too bad your brother gave you away becasue he was pissed that he was too fat to follow.

Second, chase the birds in the back yard. Don't you understand that those things can FLY?

God you guys are cute.