Wednesday, May 25, 2005

We aren't in Kansas anymore Dorothy! Wait-- yes we are.

OK back from Missouri. Lots to tell, more pictures on my Flickr Page.

I had a really nice visit with Mom, no one died, no one yelled at me, I was pleasant and I think I might see her again before another 8 years is up. If only in small doses, becasue as fun as it was, she's, you know, CRAZY.

Things that disturbed me while in Missouri:

1. The proximity to other states. I mean where I live you can't drive to another state just like that. Plus they put the names of cities in other states on their exit signs. In 10 minutes I could have turned toward St. Jo, Des Moines, and Wichita. In fact while driving on the "loop" around Kansas City ( Missouri) I actually had to drive into Kansas. I have no idea why this freaked me out so much but it did. Majorly.

2. They allow people to ride unrestrained in the back of trucks out there. It says a lot for their civil liberties but given that most people do 80 on the freeway having their spawn bouncing around in the back of a pickup strikes me as irresponsibly free. I am glad I live in California where you can't smoke in any public building and childrem MUST ride with seatbelts INSIDE the vehicle.

3. The East Indian family that owned the Econo Lodge that we stayed in was a bunch of freakin idiots. And econo lodge? EWWW never again.

4. The actual graduation ceremony only took 50 minutes. There wasn't anything touchy feely or emotional about it. In fact the administration seemed to be so glad to get rid of this class of student I'm surprised they didn't make them ride around unrestrained in the back of a pickup for most of the year. That would have killed some of them off.

5. My mother has 12 dogs and 24 acres. That is 2 acres a dog but still not enough space. See pictures of the Grizzly Bear, I mean, Malamute, she owns on my flickr page.

6. I made my palne flight home by 3 minutes, no joke. Thank god for that. Never get stranded in Missouri, and never allow for a flight plan that leaves you in Salt Lake City airport for between 2-4 hours. That is not enough time to get out and see Temple Square but it is also not enough time to get drunk on over priced cocktails in the lounge. See, in Utah, they only serve alcohol by the thimbleful to us heathens who drink it. A martini comes in a shot glass.

M.

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