Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Sailor Boy came back from Chicago with some awful sickness-- and now I have it.

Sailor Boy has fabulous insurance through the Navy and has been given antibiotics just this side of Cipro and is already better.

I have stupid self employed insurance and am not yet better.

I have decided to self medicate with alcohol. Rum and Cokes to be exact since they clearly are the next best thing to Cipro. Plus with two of those in my system I am still fully functioning but the yawning raw open wound that is the back of my throat is now fully anesthetized.

I think what I really have is this cool disease from the Middle Ages called "the dread scrofula."

When I was a little girl my father always used to call any illness the dread scrofula. I of course, along with the singsong way I spell my last name, picked this habit up.

My mother, medical transcription extroidinaire, once described to me what a scrofula is. And here for your viewing pleasure, compliments of the geniuses of google, is the definition. ( Can I say how much I love google? I would have google's child if I could. They should make a movie about a woman who gets pregnant by computer code. STOP geeking out Michelle!)

Wish me better health, or buy me more rum.
M.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Michelle's mom said...

Michelle, rum and coke will not make your throat better. I know this for a fact. If you insist on self medicating with alcohol use tequila, straight with lime and salt. Your throat will be better the next day, your head may hurt some though. It takes a quantity of this and you won't be fully functional for 16 hours or so, but your throat will be better. Love Mom

6:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Michelle trust me on this, Jagermeister! Cures anything, even cement. To enhance the curative powers float some Rumple Mintz on top of a shot of Jager, its called a "Screamin' Nazi" and whooo doggies it burns the germs right outa ya..
Interesting little conflab we have here isn't it.
Uncle Robert

6:11 PM  

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