Monday, January 30, 2006

I do not find it surprising that men don't understand women.

I don't get it.

One second I'm excited and the next I'm, well, not even interested.

The past few years of dating have taught me that nothing makes any sense. Least of all my own reactions.

I don't really believe in a perfect person out there just for me. But when that "spark" or "chemistry" is gone I can't get it back.

Big Sigh.

Product Placement

Ok-- I hardly ever do this. But I have to rave about something.

Fabric Softener. I'm being serious here. You all need to go out and buy this kind of fabric softener.

It's Downy Simple Pleasures in Vanilla and Lavendar. It comes in a purple bottle. Well there are other colors and other scents but when you open the washing machine the small that wafts off your clothes is amazing.

Really I'm not kidding. I made me want to do all my laundry this weekend. ( those of you who know how much I hate folding clothes should know what a feat that is.)

If you like to smell good-- run, don't walk to your nearest Vons and pick some of this stuff up. Go Now!

M.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Pros vs. Cons

OK-- I have compiled the list of things I like about my new house and things I don't.
I know you are waiting with bated breath...

Like:
More space. -- larger office, guest room, vaulted ceilings, extra bathroom.
Better yard. two levels, fruit trees, patio and grass with a view.
Better Layout. seperate living and dining areas.
View of sunrise and sunset ( in a limited fashion).
Attached garage.
Much better Vons in this area.

Dislike:
This kitchen is idiototic.
The bedrooms are dark and I sleep later than I used to.
Nowhere to walk to in this part of suburbia.
Crappy freeway access. I mean I'm close to the 94 but is that really an advantage?


So in general I feel I have made a pretty good choice. BUT I wish my good choice were in Kensington.

No regrets, what's the point?
M.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping, into the future.

So all of the sudden work reappeared with a vengance.

I am happy for that, cause you know, money is a good thing.

But really, it's Friday and I'm just going to be glad that I don't have plans tonight and can unpack some of my boxes.

Hopefully this weekend I can get the last of the stuff out of my old house and into my new one.
That and check out a new band with T. Those are my only goals.

Horray for Friday with no plans in it!!!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Things I liked about Today

Three new possible clients.

Cheese.

Earning Money.

I looked hot and my grandmother said I have nice ankles.

No one in my family yelled at me today.

One day closer to going out of town.

Did I mention Cheese?

Comedy Improv Starts Tonight. -- Mine's Electric.

M.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Why can't life be like Girls Just Wanna Have Fun?

It has been one of those days with no discernable end in sight.

So I'm off to shake it like a polaroid picture at bellydancing. 'Cause sometimes when the day has been bad you've just gotta dance.

M.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Things I'm currently digging...

Mozilla Firefox. (I know, I'm way behind. )

But you should know I'm just digging it for the cute little icons that appear next to my bookmarks and the web addresses. 'cause that is the kind of girl I am.

Thanks T.

Also very much enjoying She Wants Revenge singing Tear You Apart. Oh my god that song has a great baseline and the refrain makes me stupidly horny. 'cause that is also the kind of girl I am.

Also super happy that improv comedy starting up again on Wednesday night. Becasue my current level of dead pan humor is not enough. I want to learn to make people pee their pants. 'cause that is really the kind of girl I am.

And that is all.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

HA!

Click the Red Button

OK I have no idea how long this has been around. But it made me laugh.

You all know my favorite joke right?

So click if you like stupid things.

It's safe for work.

I swear.

No, really!

Friday, January 20, 2006

Accountability

OK--

So in the spirit of my "under construction" year I would finally like to put one goal to bed in 2006.

In 1997 I broke my foot. In 2001 I rebroke it, and again in 2002 and again in 2003. At this point ex-rays show that I have such a huge mass of scar tissue on my right foot that conventional dr.'s cannot discern if it is still broken. Plus I have this super cool bump on my foot. Almost as good as the gnarly scar on my knee. Luckily I also found a great alternative medicine chiroprator who fixed me so I'm not afraid to run down the stairs to get the phone, or jump up and down because I'm excited.

Between breaking my foot and my incredibly long and basically dead end relationship, I managed to put on a lot of weight. Being almost unable to walk for 6 months at a time will do that to you. Plus I eat emotionally. Food is frequently a euphoria inducing drug.

Now, I have lost a huge amount of weight. But I would still like to lose some more. This is not the phantom 10 pounds that most women battle their whole lives. This is about 2 sizes of fat that does my body no good and obscures the absolutely great muscle tone that I have worked to build up.

I'm tired of not being able to see that muscle. I've been literally working on developing it for years and the fact that it remains a suggestion rather than a fact when I flex is severely irritating to me.

It makes me mad when I look in the mirror. I do not like to be upset by things like looking at my naked body in a mirror.

Cerebrally I understand I have a healthy strong body. Vanity wants me to acknowledge that some men find me attractive. But I still get irritated when I look in the mirror.

So -- in an effort to stop being irritated, and to start my 30's having put some of the baggage of my 20's down. I'd like to be a size 8 ( maybe a 6) by the time I hit 30. That translates to a loss of about 10-15 pound of fat. It doesn't translate to weight because to lose that fat I will have to gain some muscle.

More importantly I want arms like Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2 and a stomach like my bellydancing teacher Lucia. I don't think I'm asking too much.

This goal is going to take some persistence and commitment. It is also going to have to be more important than staying up late with cool people, drinking with friends regularly, eating out all the time, and sharing french fries with Maria. So I'm asking all those people with whom I do those activities to understand if I turn down the scond glass of wine, turn in by midnight becasue I get up at 5am, have a salad instead of a burger, and make my best friend eat fries alone.

Can you help me out? This has been going on too long.

M.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Happy Motherfuckin' Birthday to me!

Ways my birthday has already been good:

1. woke up next to somebody cool.
2. ate cookie dough and pizza for breakfast, wore my pijamas until 10:30
3. got presents -- Thanks Tenacious T.

Way it will shortly be good:
4. going for a ride up Mt. Palomar on the back of Mark's bike.
5. Getting a manicure and pedicure
6. NOT UNPACKING

Ways it will be good for days:
7. Cirque Du Soliel with Maria
8. Birthday dinner with friends and family on Saturday
9. Party with Janette Thursday
10. Party with Denyce on the 31st
11. Party with Krys the entire first weekend of February.

I'd post about my move but I'm still making a list of pros and cons.

Here's to day 1 on my birthday festivites. Festivities to continue intermitently until I see Krys in February-- so far year 29 rocks my face right off!

Horray for Birthdays!!!!!
and exclamation points!!!!

M.

Monday, January 16, 2006

How to Charm Me

OK,

For those of you who are liberals and like good writing even if the outlet is a little bit full of themselves I highly recommend Salon.com

But mainly I pay money to Salon.com just to read Cary Tennis' advice column.

I don't think he has any qualifications but really, the man writes a strong and crafty sentence and gives damn good advice.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Thanks MySpace

Huh, the end of date three and I'm still interested.

Nice.

M.

Friday, January 13, 2006

PSA

All is One.

This has a much more socially conscious message than hampster dance. Too bad it's not narrated by StrongBad.

Oh My God.

I'm still awake.

Shoot me now.

M.

How to Amuse Me

Be this guy on MySpace...

Go on click the link. You know you want to.

I wonder, when he sent this email:

"chellean, you're so beautiful.. you have a smile as warm as the sun. may i know you? charlie :)"

do you think he meant that in a biblical sense?

And why no photos? I think he might be lying.

M.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

In the end, everyone grows up

So I skimmed this short article in the NY Times ( the only newspaper I read with any regularity).

I understand the impulse to take a chance. In fact as I get older the more I see the value of taking a chance. Krys likes to say " trust love." I would like to say "trust life." Read the article for yourself so see what it says.
-- That's why I linked to it. I'm not writing a book report. --

Here are my thoughts:
1. Adults lose something as they age. I think it's a natural human response to pain and strife. Adults have learned that doing something possibly dangerous results in a high probability of hurt. Adults consider the consequences. They weigh the risk vs the reward and they usually decide the risk isn't worth it.

2. As people have more relationship experience they have more instances of hurt. They learn, like a child learns not to touch a hot stove, that being open to life and love frequently burns you.

3. I'm rejecting that. No matter what the little accountant type uptight scared little girl in the back of my head says.

I reject the idea in life and in love that you must protect yourself at all costs, that safety is a main concern.

People find out all the time that the absolute worst thing that can happen is something that can be recovered from. That you can start over and over and over again and that there is a freedom that comes from knowing that. I want that freedom. Not to take stupid risks with my life but to take big chances. I already know that the consequences could be huge but the rewards could be even bigger. Staying home and playing it safe never really gets you anywhere.

I've been thinking lately a lot about people who drop everything and travel around the world. People who head to the red cross and give up their lives to save others. Dr's without borders, military, people with dreams of the "big city" etc. That idea calls to me. I find it seductive. I have the trapping of a life here in San Diego. I have a business, good friends, family, a home, adn the idiots in my village for comic relief. And all of those things need me. I love that too. But I want to explore the possibility that there is something else out there. There are other people I could give my time to. There are things I haven't seen that will blow my mind. I want to wander and get hurt and pull myself back up and start over, again and again. I have no fear or question I can get back up. I just don't know what direction to move in.

I want the freedom to not be afraid to lose something in the search for something else. And in the end I almost don't care if it won't have been worth it.

I could throw it all away in one mad gamble like the guy who sold everything he owned for one toss on the roulette wheel. I suppose I'll be an adult and start small and see what I can integrate into my already too safe existence. I'll see how far the boundaries can stretch here first. Becasue, in the end, I've already grown up.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Anticipation

So I actually met a really cool, attractive, FUNNY, intelligent guy last night.

Now I have to grow some patience while I wait to see if he calls or writes.

Have I mentioned I have the patience of a gnat?

M.

Friday, January 06, 2006

So THAT'S why I was up so early.

So I'm moving. again.

Due to some unforseen circumstances and the opportunity to get into a bigger place with a larger yard and more of a garage, I am in desperate need of some boxes. ASAP.

I'll be out of my little house by the end of the month.

I must have known this was coming. I sure felt something hurtling toward me when I woke up this morning.

M.

Starting the New Year off right

So my eyes popped open at 4:20 this morning. I was emphatically awake. My mind was going and that was it. Now I'm all for starting my day off early so that I'm productive before I run out of steam but this is getting ridiculous. Even the dogs aren't out of bed yet.
Plus what on earth is a 7pm bedtime going to do to my social life?

Big Sigh.

M.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Remembrance

OK for all you memory challenged men out there, ( Neil and Steve!) I offer you the following quote, supposedly from Thomas Edisons Diary,

" We do not remember. A certain group of out little people do this for us. They live in that part of the brain which has become known as the 'fold of Broca' ... There may be twelve or fifteen shifts that change about and are on duty at different times like men in a factory... Therefore it seems likely that remembering a thing is all a matter of getting in touch with the shift that was on duty when the recording was done."

So my words of advice are:
Downsize so you don't have 800 shifts.

My little people work 12 hours a day.
M.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

My thoughts on the new year...

So I mainly use my birthday as my "new year" that is the beauty of being a January baby. Really it's the only beauty because there is no way you can have a pool party in January and everyone doesn't buy presents cause it is so close to Christmas. But yay for my new year coinciding with my birthday! Fucking silver linings anyway.

Mainly my goal for the year is to start my 30's ( ie 2007 birthday) totally happy with myself, how I look, where I am professionally, where I am with regards to relationships.

This goal entails two things: If I have to change something external to be happy in one of those areas I need to start making that change immediately.

if I have to change something internally to be happy with in one of those areas I need to start making that change immediately.

So I'm looking at this year as if I were under construction.

Coming by 2007 in this space A New Improved Michelle!

In other news, only a few shopping days left for my birthday-- you know you want to look at my amazon wishlist.